Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Words can Heal and Words can Harm

今天收到一封mail的文章,貼上來給大家看:
Words are very important. Words can heal and words can harm. Words can hurt grievously and for a long time. The tongue can bless and the tongue can curse. It is very important for us to control our words and tame our tongue when we are angry. Many times, when we are angry we say the most atrocious things. We forget ourselves and become indifferent to what we say. We blast the other person without mercy, although we may not mean those words. But words once spoken cannot be taken back and it takes a long time to forgive and forget. We have to exercise self-control. Many couples are particularly prone to such outbursts when they get mad. But it is not an easy thing to control our tongue when we are provoked, boiled over with anger or have outburst of wrath. It is at such time that we have to learn to hold our tongue and to remain silent. If we can tame our tongue, we have to take a break or go for a walk to cool off. It is much easier to control the words before the blow-up than during the explosion. Uncontrollable words spoken in anger can have devastating effect. Angry words, that are used unthinkingly, such as  don care,? can be bothered,? don need you,?or ou can go to hell?cause pain and feelings of rejection. They give rise to insecurity. The unmeant and foolish words contain full of deadly poison and can play havoc in the mind. The unruly words get churned over for hours on end and create their worst mischief in a difficult relationship. It can take a very long time to forgive what was said. Let us learn to turn away from angry words before they leave our mouth and try to say healing words instead. Father Henri Nouwen said, t is so important to choose our words wisely. When we are boiling with anger and eager to throw bitter words at our opponents, it is better to remain silent. Words spoken in rage will make reconciliation very hard. Choosing life and not death, blessings and not curses, often starts by choosing to remain silent or choosing carefully the words that open the way to healing.?(read for the Journey,?Sept 5) We must also be very careful that in our anger we do not label our children with ugly names such as fat, stupid, snake, pig, moron, ay-poh?busy-body), useless, good for nothing. Such negative words can do harm to them for years to come! Henri Nouwen said, ?b>When we say to someone, ou are an ugly, useless, despicable person,?we might have ruined the possibility for a relationship with that person for life. Words can continue to do harm for many years.?(read for the Journey,?Sept 5) Indeed, we do not want to spoil our relationship with our own precious children. We must always use words to build them up not words to knock them down. Be an encourager not a critic. They have enough people criticizing them but far too few approving and affirming them. So to help our children to fulfill their highest potential we should be their greatest ENCOURAGER. Encourage. Encourage. Encourage on every occasion. St Paul advises us not to speak harmful words but to use helpful words, ?b>Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.?(Ephesians 4:29 TEV) Also, don utter vulgar or obscene words, or is it fitting for you to use language which is obscene, profane, or vulgar.?(Ephesians 5:4 TEV) And no more immoral talks, jokes or gossips ince you are God people, it is not right that any matters of sexual immorality or indecency or greed should even be mentioned among you...You may be sure that no one who is immoral, indecent, or greedy (for greed is a form of idolatry) will ever receive a share in the Kingdom of Christ and of God.?Ephesians 5:3,5 TEV) St Paul warns us not to quarrel so we are to emind our people of this, and give them a solemn warning in God presence not to fight with words. It does no good, but only ruins the people who listen...Keep away from profane and foolish discussions, which only drive people further away from God. Such teaching is like an open sore that eats away the flesh.?2 Timothy 2:14,16-17 TEV) He reiterates that we should ?b>keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. As the Lord servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher, who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth. And then they will come to their senses and escape the trap of the Devil, who had caught them and made them obey his will.?2 Timothy 2:22-26 TEV) It is vitally important that we exercise our choice to speak helpful words wherever we are, particularly at home. As Henri Nouwen said, ?b>Words can bring consolation, comfort, encouragement, and hope. Words can take away fear, isolation, shame, and guilt. Words can reconcile, unite, forgive, and heal. Words can bring peace and joy, inner freedom and deep gratitude. Words, in short, can carry love on their wings. A word of love can be one of the greatest acts of love.?(read for the Journey,?June 22) When we choose to speak words of care, words of encouragement, words of praise, words of love, words of admiration, positive words---they uplift and give meaning to our lives. Everyday we need to give and receive words of encouragement, hope and joy. We then create an environment that is pleasant to be in and that gives us the confidence and courage to cope with our stressful life here and now. Henri Nouwen said, hen we say to our parents, children, or friends,  love you very much?or  care for you?or  think of you often?or ou are my great gift,?we choose to give life. "It is not always easy to express our love directly in words. But whenever we do, we discover we have offered a blessing that will be long remembered. When a son can say to his father, ad, I love you,?and when a mother can say to her daughter, hild, I love you,?a whole new blessed place can be opened up, a space where it is good to dwell. Indeed, words have the power to create life.?(read for the Journey,?Sept 6) Often, we want to hear words such as, ?Ie been thinking of you today,?or  missed you,?or  wish you were here,?or  really love you.?It is not always easy to say these words, but such words can deepen our bonds with one another. "Telling someone  love you?in whatever way is always delivering good news. Nobody will respond by saying, ell, I know that already, you don have to say it again!?Words of love and affirmation are like bread. We need them each day, over and over. They keep us alive inside.?(read for the Journey,?Feb 12) hen we say,  love you,?and say it from the heart, we can give another person new life, new hope, new courage. When we say,  hate you,?we can destroy another person. Let watch our words." (read for the Journey,?Feb 11) At the same time, we must be careful that we are sincere in our words because if we say,  love you,?without meaning it, then such words do more harm than good. But if these same words are spoken from the heart, they create new life. They give joy. They bring happiness. We have to make sure that our words are rooted from our heart. To dwell in peace and joy, we have to learn from Jesus. As Henri Nouwen said, ?b>The words of Jesus can keep us erect and confident in the midst of the turmoil of the end-time. They can support us, encourage us, and give us life even when everything around us speaks of death. Jesus?words are food for eternal life. They do much more than give us ideas and inspiration. They lead us into the eternal life while we are still being clothed in mortal flesh. "When we keep close to the word of Jesus, reflecting on it, hewing?on it, eating it as food for the soul, we will enter even more deeply into the everlasting love of God.?(read for the Journey,?Sept 20) So it is vitally essential for us to read the Bible, as, ?b>Spiritual reading is food for our souls. As we slowly let the words of the Bible or a good spiritual book enter into our minds and descend into our hearts, we become different people. The Word gradually becomes flesh in us and transforms our whole being. Thus spiritual reading is a continuing incarnation of the divine Word within us. In and through Jesus, the Christ, God became flesh long ago. In and through our reading of God Word and our reflection on it, God becomes flesh in us now and makes us into living Christs for today. "Let keep reading God Word with love and great reverence.?(read for the Journey,?April 16) Since love is proved by works and not words alone, ?/b>What we live is more important than what we say, because the right way of living always leads to the right way of speaking. When we forgive our neighbours from our hearts, our hearts will speak forgiving words. When we are grateful, we will speak grateful words, and when we are hopeful and joyful, we will speak hopeful and joyful words. "When our words come too soon and we are not yet living what we are saying, we easily give double messages. Giving double messages--one with our words and another with our actions--makes us hypocrites. May our lives give us the right words, and may our words lead us to the right lives.?(read for the Journey,?June 20) Should we, then, keep quiet and not speak at all if we cannot live by what we say? No, said Henri Nouwen, an we only speak when we are fully living what we are saying? If all our words had to cover all our actions, we would be doomed to permanent silence! Sometimes we are called to proclaim God love even when we are not yet fully able to live it. Does that mean we are hypocrites? Only when our own words no longer call us to conversion. Nobody completely lives up to his or her own ideals and visions. But by proclaiming our ideals and visions with conviction and great humility, we may gradually grow into the truth we speak. As long as we know that our lives always speak louder that our words, we can trust that our words will remain humble. (read for the Journey,?June 21) Finally, we need to remind ourselves that all of us have a responsibility to share and pass on our unique experiences in life to our children and others by telling our stories, verbally or if possible, in writing. Henri Nouwen said ?b>One of the arguments we often use for not writing is this:  have nothing original to say. Whatever I might say someone else has already said it, and better than I will ever be able to.?This, however, is not a good argument for not writing. Each human being is unique and original, and nobody has lived what we have lived. Furthermore, what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well. Writing can be a creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others. "We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them.?(read for the Journey,?April 29) Writing also helps us to touch base and clarify our thoughts for us to live our life more fully. ?b>Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deepest stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic _expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write. "Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be edeemed?by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too.?(read for the Journey,?April 27)

Sunday, August 06, 2006

F‧R‧I‧E‧N‧D 六人行

跟預期一樣,看完六人行的最後一集,馬上被強烈的空虛感和不捨給吞噬。這是我看的第一部美國影集,也是我繼日劇「處女之路」之後,最最喜歡的一部影集。

其實,老早以前就很想看看這部影集了。雖然然電視上都一直有在播,然而我們家一直到這個暑假,才重溫第四台的懷抱;而六人行早就播完兩年了。在只有五台的十年間,家裡的電視只是個播放新聞和製造熱鬧的小角色。難得暑假時間多,我就到百視達租片,開始了我的影集夏天。

本來,我並沒有很期待六人行可以有多好看,但一開始看以後,我不但完全被吸引,就連平常打工的時候還是魂牽夢縈。看片的速度愈來愈快,一直到第五季吧,我突然驚覺,照我這種速度看,暑假還沒過完就會整部看完啦!以後看不到這麼棒的影集該怎麼辦?
﹝當然你現在已經知道了,只過了半個暑假,我已經看完在這打感想了﹞

然而這一天還是來臨了。跟六人行分別的日子是我少數幾個難捱的時刻,當在幕後花絮裡,演員們一一跟十年來支持他們的觀眾﹝我當然不是﹞道別時,我好像突然間被抽乾了快樂;雖然我們只相處了不到兩個月,那份感情卻是真到不能再真的存在。

我想,六人行之所以能讓我們那麼喜愛,很大的原因是我很久沒有那麼快樂了吧!不如預期的大學生活讓我變的孤僻;現在轉了學,換了新環境,我希望我可以再一次放開心來跟別人作朋友。這部影集給了我很大的鼓勵,我也希望有更多不快樂的人能選擇這部影集,重新溫習快樂的感覺。有的時候,不快樂是因為把自己看的太重要;朋友能讓你知道,擁有彼此、關心彼此是最讓人開心的互動。我想這部影集最想傳達的意識就是這個了。雖然我們都知道,但是常常忽略掉。其實,這是一種生活態度,端看你怎麼做罷了。

接下來,我們來看看六人行是那六個小甜心吧!

Jennifer Aniston 珍妮佛安妮斯頓 2/11/1969

飾演Rachel Green ,Ross的最終愛的歸屬。在六人行裡應該是最“正常”的角色了!她襯托出其他角色的爆笑,或許也因為如此,Rachel 本身卻只像是個愛情喜劇片的女主角。不知道為什麼,在我腦海裡印象最深刻的一幕,居然是她為了滿足Ross性幻想而伴成星際大戰裡的一個角色。真辣!





Courteney Cox Arquette 寇特妮考斯艾奎特6/15/1964

飾演Monica Geller ,Ross的妹妹。我第一次看到她是在驚聲尖叫系列裡,那個看起來勢利其實還是很溫柔的記者艾比蓋兒。我完全沒有辦法想像原來她可以那麼好笑。在六人行裡,她可以說是六人的中心,強烈的母性、超棒的廚藝和一斯不茍的個性都為其他人所依賴。而他跟Chandler的感情,更是我最喜歡也最堅貞的一對。說真的,我還真想當她們倆的小孩呢!







Lisa Kudrow 麗莎庫卓 7/30/1963

飾演Phoebe Buffay,是六個人裡面我最喜歡的一個!樂天善良,有很多很有趣的堅持,而且還可以通靈。在戲裡她是一個按摩師兼吉他歌手,她的歌真的真的非常非常酷。而她拍成MV的歌Smelly cat臭臭貓,是我對她印象最深刻的片段。實在太好笑了!最近一季裡她跟麥克結婚了,真的很羨慕!我本來已經偷偷想把Phoebe娶進門的說...。另外我還去租了他一部電影Romy and Michele's High School Reunion來看,真的不怎麼好看啦,可是光看到她演,心情一整個就是好,也管不了那麼多了。




Matt Le Blanc 麥特李布蘭克 7/15/1967

飾演Joey Tribbiani ,在戲裡是Chandler的室友,最喜愛的是食物﹝尤其是三明治﹞,其次是女人。個性像小朋友,天真活潑,常常做出一些讓人哭笑不得的事。也許他只有在床上才會變大人吧!

在戲裡,他是個星路坎坷的肥皂劇演員,到處在找試鏡的機會。他把女人的必殺招數就是那一句”How you doing”,那個嗓音和表情真的非常可愛。至於吸引力嘛,通長撐不過一天啦。





Matthew Perry 馬修派瑞 8/19/1969

飾演Chandler Bing 。常常講不好笑的笑話,喜歡諷刺別人,其實心裡很脆弱,用自認的幽默趕來保護自己。在大公司上班,後來轉換跑道到廣告業,真正得以一展長才。我覺得他是三個男生裡面最帥的一個,可惜後幾季明顯變胖了許多。跟Monica的感情真的很感人,他們絕對是天生一對。突然想到,當演員真的很難,像這部戲裡跟Monica演了那麼久的夫妻,結束了應該會相當失落吧!還是只有像我這樣的菜鳥才會那麼認為?




David Schwimmer 大衛史威瑪 11/12/1966

飾演Ross Geller ,Monica的哥哥,是六個人裡面本來就對演戲最有興趣的一位。戲裡是喜歡恐龍的古生物學家,常常情緒失控,擁有三次離婚經驗。個人覺得他非常非常適合去演相聲。老實說我不是很喜歡這個角色,一整個情緒化的太嚴重,常常看的很生氣。但其實想想,我也會有這樣的朋友吧!他又不是故意的,該忍耐的該體諒的還是要多忍耐多體諒。




就是這六個小甜心,讓我度過了一段愉快的時光。接下來我已經鎖定了急診室的春天(ER),我承認我都在追進度啦!沒辦法,對於一個老大不小才知道影集好看的人,不急起直追是對不起自己的和別人的。

總算可以重新開張了

大家好。從這一篇開始,是真正寫在這個bolg的文章。之前的都是從我以前的各家blog匯集而來,為什麼我又轉移陣地了呢?原因無它,摒除連線緩慢、介面難操作等因素,我終於找到一個方便又好用的空間了。想都不用想,一找到這裡,我就決定要搬了。

很開心來到這裡,我又可以輕鬆的亂寫東西了!